In the nature of a confession

Last summer, someone passed some grow lights on to me. They'd never used them & I'd been mumbling about my desire for all-weather salads for a while. I thought grow lights would be the answer.

I haven't ever set them up. This is definitely not the way to make all-weather fresh arugula. I had a dream that I could "clean up" the basement and set up a nice little table of plants down there. They could get the fake sun I provided and all would be well. But cleaning up the basement isn't trivial. There's a cat who thinks it's all hers, all the time, for starters. And, for some reason, even though we hate the thought of moving ever, ever, EVER, we have been keeping boxes. Pretty much any time we get something that comes in a box, the box gets lovingly put downstairs on a shelf. I grant you that this is insanity.

But it's my insanity, dagnabbit and it's what I have to start from.

Right, back on topic now.

Indoor planting using grow lights. I would like to do it. I would like to have pretty little lettuces sprouting. I would like to have fragrant basil and chives and parsley. I feel that it should be not only possible, but not difficult to make this dream a reality, but I don't even know where to start.

Where could I put these plants? Where could I put the lights? What would help me remember to water them, frequently? What would help me remember to pinch off their leaves so that they grow bushy, not leggy? What would help me remember to raise the lights appropriately? How can I save them from the cat?

I don't know the answer to any of these questions. I just think that, as a smart person of resources, I should finally confess to being completely incapable of managing even this simple task.

That's how I got to be the inconsistent gardener, I guess.